Talking to Survivors of Sexual Assault
Knowing what to say when someone shares they’ve been sexually assaulted isn’t always easy—especially when it’s someone close to you.
For survivors, opening up to a loved one can be incredibly difficult. That’s why your response matters. The most important thing you can do is offer support without judgment.
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Support doesn’t always mean taking action—it can mean simply being there to listen. While there may be times where sharing helpful resources (like the National Sexual Assault Hotline, medical services, or legal options) is appropriate, often the most powerful response is offering a safe, caring space.
Below are some supportive phrases recommended by the National Sexual Assault Hotline team that can help you be present for someone as they begin their healing journey.
“I believe you. / It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.”
It can be extremely difficult for survivors to come forward and share their story. They may feel ashamed, concerned that they won’t be believed, or worried they’ll be blamed. Leave any “why” questions or investigations to the experts—your job is to support this person. Be careful not to interpret calmness as a sign that the event did not occur—everyone responds to traumatic events differently. The best thing you can do is to believe them.
“I’m sorry this happened. / This shouldn’t have happened to you.”
Acknowledge that the experience has affected their life. Phrases like “This must be really tough for you,” and, “I’m so glad you are sharing this with me,” help to communicate empathy.
“You are not alone. / I care about you and am here to listen or help in any way I can.”
Let the survivor know that you are there for them and willing to listen to their story if they are comfortable sharing it. Assess if there are people in their life they feel comfortable going to, and remind them that there are service providers who will be able to support them as they heal from the experience.
“It’s not your fault. / You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”
Survivors may blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Remind the survivor, maybe even more than once, that they are not to blame.
Avoid Judgment
It can be difficult to watch a survivor struggle with the effects of sexual assault for an extended period of time. Avoid phrases that suggest they’re taking too long to recover such as, “You’ve been acting like this for a while now,” or “How much longer will you feel this way?”
Know your resources.
You can be a supporter, but that doesn’t mean you’re equipped to manage someone else’s health. Become familiar with resources you can recommend to a survivor, such as therapists and mental health professionals.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone.
Responding to a Student’s Death by Suicide:
A Guide for School Administrators
The Torah commands the mitzvah to learn, through the words vishinantem livanecha, we must teach our children. The primary responsibility for being mechanech and educating our children falls on the parents. The school system exists to support this goal. As partners with parents and the family structure, the school administration should seek guidance from and work together with the affected family in any crisis situation. This resource aims to provide support and guidance in fostering such a partnership with empathy and care. We hope to see a day when we will no longer need such resources, amen.
The loss of a student to suicide is a deeply complex event that affects the entire school community. A structured and compassionate response is critical in ensuring appropriate support for students, staff, and families.
Amudim, a nonprofit dedicated to crisis intervention and mental health support, created this resource to help school administrators, educators, and crisis response teams navigate both immediate and long-term challenges.
While focused on suicide-related crises, this guide can be adapted for any tragic event affecting students by adjusting specific details.
Developed with Expert Guidance
This guide was developed in collaboration with leading mental health professionals, crisis response experts, and educators who specialize in suicide prevention and postvention strategies. Our approach is informed by research-based methodologies and best practices from organizations such as:
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)
The Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Amudim’s Crisis Response Team
Licensed mental health professionals specializing in trauma and bereavement
Designed as a practical framework rather than a substitute for clinical care, this guide provides clear steps for communication, student and staff support, and fostering a culture of mental health awareness and suicide prevention.
Death by suicide is one of the leading causes of death among young people in the United States. It significantly impacts adolescents, with many experiencing suicidal thoughts, making plans, or attempting suicide.
Prevalence of Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors:
Source: 2022 NSDUH
22.3% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide in 2022.
10.2% of high school students attempted suicide in 2022.
Suicide Rates Among Youth:
Source: CDC
Death by suicide was the second-leading cause of death for individuals aged 10 to 34 in 2021.
In 2021, death by suicide was the third leading cause of death among U.S. high school youth (ages 14–18), with 1,952 recorded deaths, a rate of 9.0 per 100,000 youth.
Underreporting of Death by Suicide:
Source: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Death by suicide is often underreported, as some cases may be classified as unintentional or accidental deaths due to unclear circumstances.
Impact on School Communities:
The death by suicide of school personnel or family members can profoundly affect children and adolescents, increasing their risk of distress, grief-related trauma, and suicidal ideation.
These statistics highlight the urgent need for suicide prevention programs, mental health education, and accessible crisis intervention within schools and communities. Schools play a crucial role in identifying at-risk students, fostering open conversations about mental health, and ensuring support systems are in place to prevent further tragedies.
For immediate help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 for those in crisis.
Immediate Next Steps: Activating the School Crisis Team
As with any death or other crisis event, the school crisis team should be activated after a suicide has occurred.
Verify all information with the family before making any announcements, ensuring accuracy and sensitivity. Follow the family’s wishes regarding what details to share and how to communicate them, respecting their guidance on public dissemination.
Notify the school crisis team. Assign responsibilities and ensure that mental health professionals are available.
Prepare staff before notifying students. Hold a meeting with teachers to ensure a unified message.
Communicate with students appropriately. Provide a clear, factual message, avoiding graphic details or speculation.
Avoid sensationalism. Suicide should not be glorified in any way that might make it appear as an appealing option for distressed students.
Provide access to mental health resources. Ensure students know where to seek support and make professionals available.
Monitor at-risk students. Pay particular attention to close friends, students with prior suicide attempts, and those who exhibit emotional distress.
Communicate with parents. Send a letter home with clear information on the school’s response and available support services.
Reach out to external support services. Organizations like Amudim, Chai Lifeline (Rabbi Fox), and Ohel (Norman Blumenthal) can provide crisis intervention.
Notifying Staff Before Students:
Conduct a staff meeting before school begins.
Ensure all teachers and faculty receive the same accurate information.
Allow staff to ask questions and express concerns.
It is important to allow teachers and other school personnel to ask questions and voice concerns before they face students.
Openly discussing the death by suicide sends the message that it is “ok” to talk about the topic.
For example, when addressing school personnel, the leader of the crisis team may say, “there has been a death by suicide of one of our students, (Student Name).” Then insert facts as they are known but omit graphic details.
Prepare staff to respond to student questions appropriately.
If a teacher does not feel able to talk to his/her students about the death by suicide, another faculty member should be available to assist.
Addressing Students:
Share the news in small, naturally occurring groups (e.g., homeroom, advisory periods).
Avoid large assemblies or public announcements.
Every effort should be made to ensure that all students are present at the time this information is shared so all students receive the same information simultaneously.
Use direct language:
“We are deeply saddened to share that [Student Name] has died. We know that some of you may be struggling with this news, and we want to ensure that everyone has the support they need.”
Avoid phrases like “committed suicide” (which implies wrongdoing); instead, use “died by suicide.”
Include information about the availability of mental health and support services and how students may access these services