Don’t outsource the problem – design the environment
A “dry shul” can just push drinking somewhere else. Instead, create structure: keep alcohol visible and controlled (for example, placing it on the head table so people notice repeated refills). When the setup changes, behavior changes.

Talk before Purim
The best conversations happen a week before Purim – not after “three or four cups.” Start with what you appreciate, then talk about specific behaviors and what would make Purim better for your home. You don’t need to solve everything in one conversation – plant the seed and revisit it.

Make Purim something your kids will remember for the right reasons
Build the day around simcha, mitzvos, and family memory-making – not just the seudah. Kids are watching what we treat as meaningful. Aim for a kiddush hashem, not a kiddush hangover.

The internet is forever – Purim isn’t Vegas
What happens on Purim does not stay on Purim. Phones are out, group chats are forever, and screenshots travel. Before you post (or before you do something that could be posted), ask: would I be proud for this to replay later – especially if kids are in the frame? Purim should build memories, not evidence.

Give teens an off-ramp
Tell your child clearly: Your life is more important than our rules. If they’re stuck somewhere unsafe, you want the call. The immediate response should be safety first – the conversation can happen later. That “call me anytime” plan only works if you mean it.

Don’t pressure people to drink
“If someone says no to a lechaim, don’t offer a second one.” You never know what someone is carrying – including recovery, fear of slipping, or simply trying to stay in control. Respecting a no costs you nothing. Pressuring someone can cost them everything.

Zvi’s (Slightly Serious) Aseres HaDibros of Purim
These are not carved in stone. But they’re close.

1) Thou shalt remember: kids are watching.
Parents are the “demo version.” The way we act is what they learn is normal.

2) Thou shalt aim for a kiddush hashem – not a kiddush hangover.
If tomorrow is mostly cleanup, apologies, and damage control, something went off course.

3) Thou shalt know thy spouse’s eye signal.
Make an agreement before Purim. When the eyebrow goes up, the cup goes down.

4) Thou shalt talk before Purim – not during Purim.
Hard conversations after “three or four cups” don’t go well. Say it early, say it calmly.

5) Thou shalt not treat “everybody’s doing it” as data.
Common doesn’t mean safe. Popular doesn’t mean wise. Teach your kids to think, not follow.

6) Thou shalt build an off-ramp for teens.
Say it clearly: Your life is more important than our rules. If they call, you pick up – and you keep it safe in that moment.

7) Thou shalt not offer a second l’chaim.
If someone says no, that’s the end. No teasing. No pressure. No “c’mon just one.”

8) Thou shalt remember: Purim isn’t Vegas.
The internet is forever. Phones are everywhere. Purim should build memories, not evidence.

9) Thou shalt make Purim fun without making it reckless.
A better seudah isn’t louder – it’s warmer. Plan singing, themes, kids’ moments, and real connection.

10) Thou shalt design the day, not just survive it.
Structure beats chaos. A little planning now prevents a lot of regret later.